A jacket for ransom

Well, I suppose I should start from the beginning. Last Thursday, Hannah, Bekah, Nathan France and I went skiing with our homeschool group.  When we got home my mom and dad had to go to a financial class, so Hannah said I could come hang out at their house for a while. The Frances’ land lady is away in Hawaii part of the year, so they take care of her horses for her. When Hannah went out to feed the horses it was dark, so we took a couple flashlights.

So Mom came and picked me up a few hours later, we went home, and I didn’t think anything about it. When I checked my email the next day, I found this from Elizabeth.

We have your jacket[sweatshirt], and we are holding it hostage. If you wish it returned, you must do these things:

First, do not contact police, parents and/or guardians, or any other symbol of authority.

Second, go out and obtain Original Pringle chips.

Third, leave aforementioned Pringle chips on the front porch of the residence at highway 37 where you frequently go with a parent and/or guardian.

If you do all this, your jacket will be returned to you unharmed.

If you do not do this, we will give your jacket to the youngest resident of this house. I cannot imagine that he will be merciful...

--Fierce and desperate jacket hostage holders

I laughed at their antics and informed my parents that I needed to pick up a can of Pringles from the store, making sure not to tell them what for. Later I checked the pockets of my coat, and there was Hannah’s flashlight! I must have put it in my pocket and forgotten about it! So (quite eviiiiiiily), I took out my notebook and wrote them a counter offer.

Dear Mysterious Kidnappers,

I have considered your offer for my jacket. However, I would like to offer you an alternative. You see, I have your flashlight. And without my jacket, I am afraid I’ll have to hold it for ransom, as well. So it appears we are at a stalemate. But I offer a solution. For my jacket’s safe return, I will give you back your flashlight and half the can of Pringles. This way, we can both benefit. Send your reply via email to checkerboard101@hotmail.com

or by mail to

114 Cherry Creek Dr.

Libby, MT. 59923.

Reply quickly, or I will be likely to change my mind and my offer.

Sincerely, You Know Who

It was Saturday night, so I was planning to give them the letter the next morning at church. A little before we were about to leave on Sunday morning, the phone rang. The caller ID said it was the Frances, so I answered. The voice on the other end belonged to Mr. France, who said, the best dark, evil mysterious voice he could muster, “Bring the Pringles if you ever want to see your jacket again”. And with a *Click!* the line went dead. It was all I could do to resist laughing and telling my parents. But the kidnappers of my coat had warned me not to, so I kept my mouth shut.

I only went to Sunday school at their church (Faith Bible), and then to the normal service at my own church (It’s complicated…). But I had a special this particular Sunday, so I could only stop by for a few minutes to give them my counter-offer letter. When I walked in the front door, I was met by the entire France family standing in front of me, completely decked out in trench coats and sunglasses. Resisting the urge to smile, I handed Mr. France the envelope and turned to leave. Unfortunately they didn’t know that I wasn’t staying for Sunday school that day, so they took off after me immediately! The thing about Mr. France is he has really long legs, so even with my own I couldn’t make it to the car fast enough. They were on me in a matter of seconds.

“Where are the Pringles??” they yelled. I yelled back over their voices.
“Read the letter!!”

“What are you doing to my daughter??” Mom called from the passenger’s side of the car. Oh yeah, she didn’t know about any of this. I’d forgotten about that.

Well once I told them that I couldn’t stay for Sunday school, they let out some sounds of disappointment and finally released me. Once I got in the car my parents were giving me weird looks, and I decided it was finally time for them to know about the mess I had gotten into. They laughed at the whole scheme, especially the fact that Mr. France went full-fledged along with the whole thing. He’s really funny when it comes to that kind of stuff.

Well when I checked my email later tonight Elizabeth sent me a code to crack, or they’re going to kidnap other articles of my clothing apparently….

Haha yeah, so that’s what my weekend was like. I’ll have to write later and tell how it goes from here. Well what do I think of this whole thing? I think I have the best friends in the whole world!!!! Thanks Frances, for a hilariously awesome weekend.

*Rolls up sleeves* Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a code to crack…..