Just and Afterthought

The last few weekends I've been stuck at home, nothing to do. Everyone's working or doing something with someone else or doesn't want to hang out or too busy or traveling or going to homecoming, etc. I feel like every body's afterthought. Which reminds me of how much lack of a life I have. But what about my family? Don't they count as a life? What about spending time with them? Don't they matter? Of course they do. I should want to spend more time with them. And I do, I do love doing fun things with my family, really.
But on the weekend...I just want to go out and do something fun with a friend, you know? Someone my age. And here I am with nothing to do and nowhere to go and no friends to hang out with me. Everyone's got their own lives. And Annie? Well, she'd hang out with me, she'd do pretty much anything with me, but she's always gone on the weekends. I'm everyone's second priority. The afterthought. I'm the one out of the loop, the one cut off from the rest. I live 4 miles away from everyone, I don't have my license, and yeah yeah, whatever else is required to have people stay in contact with you....
Does this seem self-conceited? Am I the only one to feel this way? Sure my parents always make time for me, and that's great! It really is! But what about my friends? Doesn't anyone  else want to take the time to be with me? When I'm with Mary Elizabeth or someone, she's always got to be with her boyfriend. I'm a side note once Colby comes around. It's to be expected, I guess. Colby's nice to me, but you still can't help but feel a little like a third-wheel, you know?
The Pucketts have Frances and the Martins and the Shertels. Paige has Erin. Everyone's got their own usual crowd. But my usual crowd is never around. Annie's always gone now, and Darian lives in Troy. I've always got my online friends, but..... what about going to movies? Going roller skating? Bike riding? I can't do that without requiring a plane ride.
Am I taking my friends for granted here? Is there a reason why no one wants to do things with me on weekends? Or is it just because I don't plan ahead enough. I don't know....
It just makes you feel.... lonely. Really lonely and cut off from everyone. No matter how many times you see them in the week.

Yeah I know, I'm blowing this way out of proportion. I'm a teenager, my brain is clinically proven to not be fully developed, and I'm prone to overreaction. But..... how am I supposed to feel about this?? Could someone tell me, please? I just want someone to listen to me! Someone who I can talk to who doesn't just listen because they feel obligated or because they're my parents. Can I just have a friend please that will alwys be there when I need them?
I just wonder. Do people think about me alot? Do they talk about me? What do they say? Do they think I'm annoying? Funny? Smart? Irritating? Selfish? I just don't get any of this. Will I ever find a place to belong?

I hate feeling this way. I hate being left out. I wouldn't want anyone to go through this. That's why I'm going to always include everyone.
*Sigh* I know I shouldn't get discouraged. Jesus wouldn't, I'm sure. He would go out and try to reach out to someone that's lonely. But how do I do that? Who can I think of? Someone that gets left out alot? I don't know. I'm just really confused. It's mixed between the selfish thought of how I'm always the smaller priority and getting everyone's second best. And the dying-to-self thought of taking the second best people and making sure they never feel the way I do. I really don't get my own brain.... So confused right now.